Control over everything.

Okay. So today I want to talk about anxiety + control kind of formula, or combination or whatever you name it. See, ever since I remember myself I've been trying to control lots of stuff, like myself - emotions, feelings, behavior and even mood, also situations, plans, future events and, well, other people from time to time. I've been aware of my, let's call it, obsession with control and considered it was all due to those social norms like 'you shouldn't be behaving this way and so on', as well as desire to predict things and/or my little inner manipulator...


In fact control thing comes in hand with both anxiety, and well panic attacks. Like you know, you are trying your best to control yourself and situation in order to prevent a new wave of heavy anxiety or a panic attack, especially when in a pretty public place... because you feel you have to be prepared. It doesn't work. And your mind and body simply destroy this control by means of... well, you the ending. Do I have a perfect formula or strategy of my own to break this circular motion? No, I don't think so. My psychologist helped me big time throughout that work with panic attacks and is essence (gosh, Nichola, you know it's hard to think out of the box... especially when is box gets to roller coaster level).


Anxiety. I've been living with it for about past 20 years, it even stretched all the way to become one of my sub-personalities (like you know, each human's personality consists of numerous sub-personalities depending on situations, entourage and so on... so it's a pretty normal thing), so yes anxiety's been playing quite a part in terms of my life. Just like my over-control thing. And I still don't have a great formula on how to break this bond or manage anxiety in the best possible way... though I do have several exercises that do a great job, I even turned it into my daily morning rituals... and positive rituals are life. 



Photo: T. Egorova


Control over everything.

Okay. So today I want to talk about anxiety + control kind of formula, or combination or whatever you name it. See, ever since I remember myself I've been trying to control lots of stuff, like myself - emotions, feelings, behavior and even mood, also situations, plans, future events and, well, other people from time to time. I've been aware of my, let's call it, obsession with control and considered it was all due to those social norms like 'you shouldn't be behaving this way and so on', as well as desire to predict things and/or my little inner manipulator...


In fact control thing comes in hand with both anxiety, and well panic attacks. Like you know, you are trying your best to control yourself and situation in order to prevent a new wave of heavy anxiety or a panic attack, especially when in a pretty public place... because you feel you have to be prepared. It doesn't work. And your mind and body simply destroy this control by means of... well, you the ending. Do I have a perfect formula or strategy of my own to break this circular motion? No, I don't think so. My psychologist helped me big time throughout that work with panic attacks and is essence (gosh, Nichola, you know it's hard to think out of the box... especially when is box gets to roller coaster level).


Anxiety. I've been living with it for about past 20 years, it even stretched all the way to become one of my sub-personalities (like you know, each human's personality consists of numerous sub-personalities depending on situations, entourage and so on... so it's a pretty normal thing), so yes anxiety's been playing quite a part in terms of my life. Just like my over-control thing. And I still don't have a great formula on how to break this bond or manage anxiety in the best possible way... though I do have several exercises that do a great job, I even turned it into my daily morning rituals... and positive rituals are life. 



Photo: T. Egorova

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